King for 2 days... Part 1

Finally "Yours truly" has got a promotion of a lifetime... The status has changed from "Committed" to "Married" (yet to reflect on Orkut :-))
Bachelorhood is lost forever... marriage Ceremony...Final stage of the process that was going on for quite some time was completed on 20th April
It lasted for two days that is 19th and 20th... I was like a king for 2
days...
So many rituals, as I was going through them... I could not resist but
to try to guess what would have been the original ritual and the
meaning... what all was going on; everything looked so symbolic.

The very first ritual... that of sacrifice of a "Kohala" (winter melon,
white gourd or green pumpkin). Everything was looking normal during the
ritual and then all of a sudden when people said that it should be cut
into two in one shot only!!!!!!! Very close to animal sacrifice where
Hindu's believe that the animal should die at first stroke only!!

What is the exact purpose...
symbolic...historical....scientific...mythological...whatever...
for the"Muhurta Medhi"?
may be something like an anchor or something firm that

can provide stability to whole arrangement.... And the fact that the
"Muhurta medh" is removed at the end of the ceremony.
So many such questions... including about the use of the turmeric...

From a boy's family point of view the first day is more busy at home
than the next one when they go to the girl's house where the actual
marriage ritual takes place. As a rule I was not even supposed to go out
of the house on the first day...any anyway there was no time either...
so many rituals from morning till the evening and whenever there was any
free time then it was fully utilized by friends and relatives.

The first day ended at 2 00am next day when my father forced us to stop
the DJ and go to sleep...hardly 4-5 hrs of sleep and I was up at 6
oclock in the morning to get ready for the big day ahead.

Once again visits to a few gods... a few more "aarati's"... a few more
rituals.... and I was ready to leave

We left for the wedding location that is Mahim by 8 15 in the morning...
and reached there by 10 30.
We were a little late and as a result we had to run through the rituals
there since we had a time only upto 12 38 which was the "Muhurta".
So soon after we reached there me and Deepa were sitting on the stage
and the rituals began as per "Vaidic Methodology" .

There were a few arguments between the elders and the prist regarding
some rituals... or the way they were supposed to be performed. But
somehow we managed to complete all the rituals before the muhurta.

I was told that some people come under so much pressure at the "biggest turning point" in life that they even start trembling. but in my cased it was found to be quite opposite. I was in really happy mood and we even exchanged light comments with deepa's cousins.

at the time of exchanging "Haar" (or "Mala" ... i really don't know the exact english word), my cousins lifted me up to make it difficult for deepa... so her brothers also lifted her up and we exchanged "Haar" while we both were lifted up...

the moment it was over i could see a smile of relif on both parents face... and soon everyone from Deepa's side were in tears in wake of the reality that she was to leave her family to join mine...

My favorite song from Calvin and Hobbes...

The Yukon Song

My tiger friend has got the sled,
And I have packed a snack.
We're all set for the trip ahead.
We're never coming back!

We're abandoning this life we've led!
So long, Mom and Pop!
We're sick of doing what you've said,
And now it's going to stop!

We're going where it snows all year,
Where life can have real meaning.
A place where we wont have to hear,
"Your room could stand some cleaning."

The Yukon is the place for us!
That's where we want to live.
Up there we'll ge to yell and cuss
And act real primitive.

We'll never have to go to school,
Forced into submission,
By monst, crabby teachers who'll
Make us learn addition.

We'll never have to clean a plate,
Of veggie glops and goos.
Messily we'll masticate,
Using any fork we choose!

The timber wolves will be our friends.
Well stay up late and howl,
At the moon, till nightmare ends,
Before going on the prowl.

Oh, what a life! we cannot wait,
To be in that arctic land,
Where we'll be masters of our fate,
And lead a life that's grand!

No more of parental rules!
We're heading for some snow!
Good riddance to those grown-up-ghouls!
We're leaving! Yukon Ho!

Till now I was bored of typing it out but I found that someone has
already done it here <http://home3.inet.tele.dk/stadil/poemyuk.htm>
Thanks pal...... for the song...

Preparing for the big day..

Hmmmm… so the big day is fast approaching….

Preparations are on the verge of reaching peak for both the families….

All orders decoration catering etc…placed…..

Almost all jeweray bought…or ordered….

All the sarees and other cloth shopping ….done….

Invitations… work in progress….

Still a lot of things pending…. Transport….DJ… and a lot of other small small things….

Someone has rightly said….. "Ghar pahave bandhun aani lagna pahave karun" (roughly….."Building a house and getting married are two things that you must do on your own to get a feel of expenses…" )

For my parents it a little easier since they are doing it for second time…. But for Deepa's parents, it is first wedding in the family…. So a few more troubles…. That too for the girl's side it is more complicated affair since almost entire ceremony takes place at girl's house.

To be frank… I am yet to do any major work till now…. Since everything is contracted, it is not like past days when every member of the family had to work hard to make it happen. The only major activity is that of inviting people. And almost entirely it was taken care by my parents.

 

A raised gold price has hit the budget like anything. Certain things you just can not avoid. But I don't look at it as an expense, but as an investment for future. But the sudden expense no doubt pinches…

Another major shopping…. And of course biggest of them all was the cloths shopping. Apart from money what made matter more complicated was that none of us… neither me… or Deepa… or Hansini and Yogesh (my sister and brother in law) could afford to take leaves. So everything had to be managed on weekend when you already have too many other tasks lined up. Especially for me since it is a new job… and I need a long leave for marriage and honeymoon, I can not afford to take any leave before marriage.

As a result the entire shopping process went on for almost a month.

As I see around... everyone seems to be preparing to enjoy the event in their own way…

 

I am approaching of perhaps what is the biggest turning point in anyone’s life. A transition that was going on since a few months after engagement will finally be complete.

I will be entering a new phase of life… new relations… new responsibilities… new challenges… it all seems exciting and worrying at the same time… how will be the waters ahead? Calm or turbulent or stormy? Will it be a smooth sailing or a hell of rolling and pitching?

Lot of questions… no answers…only hopes….

And I am hoping for the best….

ParPraantiya….

Seems like all the fuss going on the “Par Prantiya” issue has gone down now.
Finally the court had to intervene. And again all the dirty politics going on as usual…
But frankly…. That was a real bad thing to do… I don’t think it is going to lead to “Nava Nirman” of Maharashtra in any way. If at al it does contribute then it will contribute in taking the state a few years backwards I think.

After the MNS people made all the north Indians move out of Nashik, it was none other than Maharashtrian entrepreneurs who suffered. I still remember a quote from one of them in Times of India.
He said he won’t mind and would happily employ Maharashtrian people, but they don’t want to work as hard and as dedicatedly as north Indians… and still they want higher salaries.

I think in one shot he tols the root cause behind the presence of all the people who MNS is now trying to target. It is nothing but simple basic funda of demand and supply.
All the jobs that these north Indian people do; if Maharashtrian people would have taken them up, then there was no need of these people from outside here. It is only because we are not ready to do these jobs which we think are of low category that the people who are willing to do those jobs have come to this city.

We prefer to stay unemployed and then cry about other people coming and taking up out jobs than to try to take up available jobs. Every society needs all the roles to be played for its smooth functioning.
We need Doodhwala… we need SubjiWala…. We need the fruit vendors…. We need the Taxiwala… we need sweepers… we need Lundriwala…. BhelPuriwala… all these are as essential ingredients for the society as are doctors and engineers and clerks.

But we have a certain mentality set…. We want only the higher category jobs…. We don’t want to start our business…. That’s why all the Guajarati’s and Marwari’s thriving in the city.

This reminds me of one more thing…. What is definition of “Par Prantiya” ? why only people from Bihar and UP are being targeted? Why not Guajarati’s, South Indians , Bengali’s?
Are the not outsiders? Are they not eating up on jobs of Maharashtrians? In fact these people are in the areas that are of interest to Marathi people like High profile jobs and businesses etc.
Instead of them... the poor people from Bihar and UP are being targeted. Those poor people who starve sometimes…. They sleep in footpath to make sure that they send money back home to their family. Instead of learning and picking up the hard working tendency and dedication from these people, they are driving them out for no fault of theirs.

Only a “Bhaiya” can sell fruits during day and then sleep on the same hand cart out in open during night. I respect them for this hardworking ability.
They have done nothing wrong by coming to Mumbai. They are also Indians and they have full right to settle in any city they wish to.

It also reminds me of my days as a “par prantiya” when I was staying in Bangalore and Hyderabad. By strict definition and by the current MNS rules…. Even those people could have driven me out. And I think Raj should also keep in mind that now Maharashtrian people are also settling down in other states. What will happen to them if other states decide to give tit for tat?

Again some days I ago I heard a person saying in train that ever since Laloo became railway minister fe filled up entire railway with people from Bihar. I will say… why Suresh Kalmadi could not do the same for Marathi people when he was in the ministry? We don’t pick up opportunities and then we cry when someone else picks them up.
I think the old saying that termed Marathi people as crabs who are happy pulling each others legs... still holds true….
We won’t to do and we won’t let others do….

End of an episode….

After all the chaos for past 3 months…. I got rid of Infosys and I finally joined Lehman.
It was a roller coaster ride I must say. A nail biting finish till the last day.

I still remember the first encounter with Lehman while I was in Hong Kong. Initially also it did not go well. My mobile connection used to give troubles. Once or twice the call was dropped in between. Sometimes the interview team used to inform that they were not able to connect at all.
Finally somehow the first round of interview was over. I was not T all satisfied with my performance. I was not expecting any return call from them and started thinking about other options

But somehow, the interviewers had seen something during interview that I had missed out.
I got call for a second round of interview. This time I was well prepared. And as expected, the interview went well and I got an offer too. I was expected to join within a month. With leman ready to bear any payback that may be required, this looked like a sure thing.

Till now everything was fine. I submitted my resignation letter asking for a release after a month.
At this point the real story began. There was no response for the resignation mail. Initially I got a call from my top management to discuss the things but after that what followed was complete ignorance. No commitment on the release date… no comment on handover of activities…

Frustrated… finally I threatened to stop working on the project if I was not given due attention. Only after this, I got a response giving a date after nearly 2 months.
I decided to use the salary payback option. There was one more bad news in store for me. The documents had the payback clause at the discretion of the company!!! My bosses chose to use it immediately and denied me that opportunity also.

Frustrated, I walked out of Hong Kong and came back to Mumbai. I was expecting that this will have some impact. But there was none.
I escalated the matter to still higher management as well as HR…. as a result I got a call where I was threatened in indirect terms about disciplinary actions and all.
On the other hand I got calls from other senior mangers making all sort of promises so that I stay back.

On the other hand Lehman team was also getting frustrated at the entire episode. They finally decided to break the ties and revoked the offer.
I decided to go ahead with resignation and vowed to quit Infosys even in case I did not find a job for a few days. The hunt started again.
Fortunately I got another job. So I went ahead with resignation.
This was how my 4+ years stint with Infosys ended. I never wanted to end it the way it happened. I had started my career there and I had grown up professionally there. I Always wanted to end it in a graceful manner but alas!!!

A few days before my joining date, I again got call for Lehman!!! This was to be a fresh round of selection. I decided to try it once again. Results were as expected. I was given another offer and this time there were no restrictions.

This effectively marks end of my first career episode…. I am back in Mumbai…. A whole new game has begun….